South Community Birth Program - Message board

I know that sleep is a complex issue fed by technique, baby temperament, feeding and more, so I know there's not a clear cut answer for my questions. But here's the scenario:

Although this is a 'non-judgmental' forum, anyone who replies needs to know that I am extremely reticent to let my child 'cry it out'. In philosophy I find myself drawn to Tracy Hogg's middle of the road solutions as found in The Baby Whisperer, although I am not opposed to sharing sleep with my child ala Sears. Perhaps that information will help you to know what kinds of things I've tried to help get my child to sleep. I'd like to think that crying it out is an unnecessary parental rite of passage, but am I crazy? It just seems that there are enough people (experts and my child's doctor included) that seem to manage to guide their children to sleep without that particular method (and without losing their minds or marriages).

My one year old boy has yet to sleep longer than 5 1/2 hours at a stretch--ever. This past week or so he's suprised us and slept for 6-almost 8 hours a few times, but this pattern isn't consistent yet. However...I'm just scared that this sleeping streak won't stick and I'd like some help. I'm so tired! When he wakes up from his stretches he's usually very upset and screams and cries for 2 to 3 hours, and then sleeps fitfully (often with me) until morning. So, I'm not so much looking for a no-cry solution--he's already crying! I'm just wondering if I should keep fighting the good fight or if I should try another tactic?

I do know that he does have the ability to settle himself because I've heard him wake up, chatter a bit, roll over and go back to sleep multiple times during the night.

Geez. Can you tell I'm scattered? I'm not even sure what my question really is...any words of wisdom would be much appreciated!

Oh, yes. One more tidbit. We've recently started giving him prescription medicating for possible reflux. Since he's arching his back so much and seemingly uncomfortable we've decided to give that a try and hope for the best.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou for any thoughts!

Hey love, i'm no expert but i've been there. I have a four year old now and she was extremely fussy. I'll give you what worked for me...no more no less i'm afraid but if you don't hear thoughts on it, you might never try the right thing, right? So...

In my infinite wisdom I thought maybe the not sleeping was a combo of wanting reassurance, discomfort at being alone (insecurity) and habit. My thoughts were...to form new habits while catering to her insecurities about being alone (as well as addressing the idea that a child can feel abandoned if left completely alone!) and reassuring at the same time.

My intuition told me that I should be there comforting her...so my game plan was to put her down and let her start crying (as usual). Let this go on for about 2 minutes then go in, show your face to show you are not far away and then sya something soft and reassuring and then...leave. Do this OVER and over and over until they finally fall asleep. At first you might think that they are just going to sleep as he always has, just NOW with the interruption of YOU. But you are actually building a new habit. They get used to seeing you and know that you are close and trust that you will answer when called upon.

It worked for me. It took a few days...and a lot of little regressions but this tactic has referred to different parts of our relationship. She trusts that I will be there for her always and I am. We don't overdo it and stay reasonable and our trust is strong. Maybe this will help and maybe not....there might be a physiological barrier with your little'un but do your best and congratulate yourselves for trying everything you can...even reaching out.
Good luck to you.
jen